Introduction
You can play *Totally Accurate Battle Simulator*, or TABS for short, and it is one of the weirdest and funniest strategy games out there. It looks dumb at first glance. Wobbly units move around like toys, and their movements are clumsy and over-the-top. But if you spend some time with it, you will see that there is a smart mix of testing, tactics, and creativity behind the chaos.
This blog goes into great detail about what makes TABS so special. We will talk about the game’s units, factions, modes, controls, and why people can not stop laughing while playing it.
What is TABS?
In TABS, you make armies and put them on the battlefield to see what happens. Landfall, a studio known for making strange but smart ideas work, made the game.
TABS does not have precise, clean fighting; instead, it has wobbly physics. Characters fall over in silly ways, trip, and miss swings. Armies fall apart into groups of arms, weapons, and noise. But the way it looks adds to the game’s charm.
Even though the physics are strange, strategy is still important. The way you set up your armies, choose your units, and balance their strengths and weaknesses determines who wins.
The Units
TABS is all about units. They can be anything from simple peasants to powerful gods. They all have their own weapons, fighting styles, and prices.
Some examples are:
– Clubbers: Cavemen with clubs who are very simple. Not very strong, but cheap.
– Archers: Can attack from a distance and are good for breaking up groups.
– Samurai: quick fighters who use swords to block arrows.
– Zeus: A powerful god who throws lightning bolts.
– Mammoths: Huge animals that stomp on their enemies.
Each unit is unique. Seeing a Mammoth charge through footmen or Zeus’s lightning bounce off enemies shows how different the fights can be.
Some units are meant to be funny. You can call a Wheelbarrow Man who runs into groups of people. Or use a unit that throws snakes as weapons. There are both serious and silly options, which makes every battle unpredictable.
The Groups
Factions are made up of units that have similar themes. These are:
– Tribal: People who throw spears, clubbers, and mammoths.
– Medieval: Knights, archers, and doctors.
– Ancient: Zeus, ballistae, and Spartans.
– Vikings: berserkers, ice archers, and longboats.
– Dynasty: Samurai, ninjas, and archers who shoot fireworks.
– The Renaissance: Da Vinci’s tank, musketeers, and jousters.
– Pirates: Cannons, harpooners, and pirate queens.
– Scary: Reapers, skeletons, and vampires.
– Secret: Units that are hidden, like huge clubs or warriors with superpowers.
There is a style for each group. Tribal depends on brute force. Dynasty gives you speed and tricks. Vikings give you strength without thinking. It is fun to try new things because there are so many different ones.
Maps have secret groups that you can not see. Finding them is fun because you get to use strange and powerful things like Cupids or Giants.
Mode of Campaign
There is a campaign mode in TABS for players who like structure. You have to build defenses against preset enemy armies with limited resources. You have to think differently at every level.
If your enemies use shield walls, for instance, you might need ranged units or heavy charges to get through. If they use archers, you might want to choose fast units that can close gaps.
Battles in campaigns show how important placement is. Putting units too close together can cause problems, and spreading them out too far makes your push weaker. The campaign is fun because you get to solve each battle.
There are a lot of campaigns, and each one is based on a different faction. As battles get bigger and armies get more complicated, it gets harder.
Mode for the Sandbox
Sandbox mode gives you complete freedom if the campaign feels too limiting. You can fight any number of armies against each other here. Want to see Zeus fight a dozen skeletons? Or do mammoths run through lines of gunmen? You can make silly situations in Sandbox just for fun.
This mode is also a great way to test things. You can see which units beat which and make up silly strategies. You can stage huge wars with hundreds of fighters just to see how crazy it gets because there are no limits on resources.
The game’s humor comes out a lot in sandbox mode. You can put armies in weird places or even have one giant fight 200 peasants.
Physics and Humor
The physics behind TABS is what makes it so funny. Units are meant to be wobbly. They swing their arms around a lot, and their aim is bad. Horses and other big animals run into things. Weapons fly out of hands and hit things that are not expected.
This makes it feel like things are happening on their own. With just one throw of a spear, you can kill an important enemy. A knight might trip, miss his swing, and lose because of bad luck. The fights look awkward, but that is what makes them fun. You can not be sure what will happen.
The drama also has funny parts. Seeing an army fall to one lone survivor or archers accidentally kill their own teammates makes the chaos even worse. TABS makes failing fun, which keeps players interested.
Different kinds of maps
TABS maps make things more fun. They are based on the factions and have different layouts and challenges. Some maps have cliffs that units can fall off of. Some have open fields, tight hallways, or bridges.
Terrain changes the plan. Units with ranged weapons are stronger on high ground. Big enemies like Mammoths might get stuck in small spaces. Choosing the right units is just as important as using the map well.
These maps also have secrets in them. Exploring them can reveal hidden units and surprises, which makes the game more fun to play again.
Control of the Player
Most of the time, battles happen without direct control. You put armies in place and watch what happens. But TABS also lets players own units directly. You can now control an archer, knight, or even Zeus.
This makes it even more fun. Taking charge changes the course of battle, giving you the power to change the tide. It combines classic strategy with a little bit of action gameplay.
Community and Multiplayer
TABS also has a multiplayer mode where players can put their armies up against each other. It adds a competitive element because you have to deal with human creativity instead of predictable AI.
People in the TABS community are active online. Players post videos, experiments, and memes about their funniest fights. Mods add even more to the game by adding new units, maps, or crazy ideas.
This sharing with others keeps the game interesting. Even if you get tired of fighting AI armies, the community always has new challenges for you.
Why TABS Works
TABS is fun because it combines strategy with humor. It does not take itself too seriously. Because the physics are wobbly, battles feel real instead of mechanical. The plans are real, though. Unit choices, costs, and where they are on the map are all important.
This balance is not common. A lot of strategy games are either too strict or too silly. TABS is in the middle. It lets players make tactical decisions while still having fun.
It also appeals to a lot of people. The kids think the fights are funny. Adults like the strategy. Content creators love using it for videos because the comedy is always funny.
Advice for New Players
Here are some tips for people who are new to TABS:
– Combine your units. Armies that are all the same type usually lose.
– Put ranged troops behind tanks to keep them safe.
– Use the land. Battles change when there is high ground or a choke point.
– Use secret units to get big advantages.
– Do not be scared to lose. Seeing things go wrong is half the fun.
These tricks will help you win, but they also teach you how to enjoy the chaos instead of being afraid of it.
Things that make the game good
– A lot of different units and factions.
– Freedom to fight in a sandbox for as long as you want.
– Campaigns that creatively question strategy.
– Physics that are not very stable and make mistakes fun.
– You can play it again and again because of hidden secrets and community mods.
– Open to players of all ages.
Things the Game Does not Do Well
– The randomness of physics can make results seem unfair.
– Campaigns might annoy players who are used to being precise.
– In big battles, the graphics and performance can go down.
– Not as deep as other strategy games that are more serious.
Still, these problems do not usually stop people from having fun with the game. The randomness is actually what makes it so appealing.
How long it lasts and how often it gets updates
Since its early access days, TABS has gotten support in the form of new factions and updates. Landfall may not add as much now as they did in the past, but the game is still fun to play again and again.
Mods help it last longer. Players make new units, maps, and changes to keep things interesting. TABS will always be fun for people who like to build silly or smart battles.
Why People Keep Coming Back
People come back to TABS because each fight is unique. The unpredictable physics make sure that no two battles are the same. Even when things are set up the same way, they can still end up in a different way when the units start to wobble.
It is fun to test out “what if” ideas. What if two gods had to fight 100 farmers? What if zombies and ninjas fight? The game lets players answer these questions and watch the silliness happen.
It is a place where comedy and strategy come together. Players keep coming back because of that freedom and all the funny things that happen.
Final Thoughts
Totally Accurate Battle Simulator* is one of the funniest strategy games ever made. It combines real tactics with pure chaos to make battles that are smart, dumb, and exciting all at the same time.
There are a lot of different units, factions, and maps to choose from. The laws of physics make it impossible to know what will happen. TABS gives you what you want, whether it is organized campaigns or silly sandbox battles.
For some, it is a test of their strategy. For some people, it is a comedy show. Most of the time, it is both.
Totally Accurate Battle Simulator* is a game that will make you laugh and surprise you, but it will also make you think.
