15 Stupid Legal Defenses Used in Court | Media Pyro

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Did you like it? Friends, you have come to the right place of internet content. For the next few minutes, I’ll be your lawyer: a nameless, faceless editor of a comedy website. Looks like I don’t have the right to defend you in court, do I? Please listen to me:

What is your biggest mistake?

Absolutely. I am talking about physical effects, mental and emotional scars. What was your home life like growing up? Really scary? Much? It’s okay, I’m sure I have some excuses for being rude as an adult.

If you have a very healthy rich child? This makes me conclude that you have “affluenza”. A buxom model? Well, not at all that is You were able to get through that little hole that you allegedly stepped on, what with all the baggage you’re pulling. If you are a normal person? Nothing quite going your way? You can fake a heart attack whenever the arguments are closed.

I’m not saying any of that will work. But I am a.m it says: someone, somewhere, thought it was a good shot.

Huge Boobs

I have too many tears to fit in that hole.  Japanese model Serena Kozakura was acquitted after a court admitted her breasts were too large to fit into the hole she allegedly crawled into.  The presiding judge and the lawyer who held the plate agreed that Kozakura's breasts were about the same size as the hole.  It will crack

vchal/Shutterstock

The Daily Mail

“Gay Panic”

Defense is how homophobes try to get away with murder.  This legal strategy tries to get judges to accept that a person's sexuality or gender identity/identification may have caused another person to commit a violent crime.  The idea is that because the victims are less than human, their lives are not worth much, and the killer should not be caught.  It will crack

Dundanim/Shutterstock

The LGBTQ+ Site

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